The Quiet Town, Silent Hill
by Vash2002
Summary: An old chapter. But redone. SH3 Spoof lost in translation. Hope you enjoy!
1. The Quiet Town, Silent Hill

The Silent Hill 3 Spoof   
  
Chapter 1: The Quit Town, Silent Hill.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters in this story are own by Konami, not me.  
  
We are opened to a shot of Silent Hill. We see Heather walking down a foggy street to the Blue Creek Apartment complex. She is wearing the same old, same old. She has her flash light on.   
  
Heather(narrator): Nothing interesting happens in Silent Hill. I came back here, cause this is where I was born. And I wanted to come to a calm, boring place. Some where I don't have to worry about "monsters." Nothing interesting happens in Silent Hill. Until that woman came.  
  
Heather continues walking down the street. We see a light behind Heather, which is followed by noises of a motor. Heather looks back to see what it is. She can't see, it's too foggy.  
  
Heather:(confused) What is that?  
  
A woman on a motorcycle drives by really fast.   
  
Heather(still confused): Well that was odd.  
  
Heather continues her walk down the street. And comes upon a wreckage of a motorcycle. With a woman lying on the ground beside it. Heather runs to the woman.  
  
Heather: Uhhh.....are you okay?  
  
The woman doesn't answer. She seems knocked out.  
  
Heather: Uhhh...stay there, I will call an ambulance.  
  
Woman: Wait!! No ambulance needed(gets up) This was just a test  
  
Heather: Test?  
  
Woman: Yeah, something like a test. I wanted a closer look at your head.  
  
Heather: My head?  
  
Woman: Yeah it looks like the one I am looking for.  
  
The woman is dressed in a red shirt with a black skirt. She wears black boots, and she has shortly cut blond hair.  
  
Heather:(confused, once again) You where looking for my head?  
  
Woman: You can say that.  
  
The woman goes to her wrecked bike, and takes out a long rusty pipe.  
  
Heather: What are you planning to do with that?  
  
Woman: In order to see if it's the right head, I must do this.....  
  
The woman swings, and hits Heather right in the forehead. Heather goes spinning in the air, and land on her ass. She is knocked out, with a bit of drool coming out of her mouth.  
  
Woman: Hmmmm, did that work?  
  
Heather suddenly awakes, holding her head.  
  
Heather:(pissed) OUCH!!!!!! Why the Hell did you hit me!!!!!????  
  
Woman: Are you okay? Should I call an ambulance?  
  
Heather: What? Are you making fun of me!? I don't need an ambulance, I'm just going home!  
  
Heather gets up, dazed, and starts walking past the woman, until the woman fades away into the fog.  
  
Heather: Damn woman, what the hell is wrong with her?  
  
Heather walks into the apartment complex, and down the hall. She stops at a door, and opens it with a key. Strangely enough the apartment looks nearly the same as her old one. She walks into her living room. And sees, who else but Douglas, and Vincent sitting there.  
  
Heather: What the hell are you guys doing here!?  
  
Vincent:(with a smile on his face) Now, now Alessia, that's no way to talk to your father.  
  
Heather:(confused, yet again) What!? Your not my father, and my name is Heather!  
  
Douglas: Sit down Heather, you need to relax, and let old grandpa tell you a story.  
  
Heather: Your not my Grandpa!!  
  
Vincent: Why are you yelling? (pushes up glasses) Everyone knows, that yelling is rude.  
  
Douglas: Yeah Heather, you know that.  
  
Heather: What are you guys talking about, and you still didn't answer my first question.  
  
Vincent: Your being silly Heather, we always have lived here.  
  
Heather: Uhhh...what?  
  
Douglas: You know those magazines in your room? Well, if you don't mind me saying, you have good taste.  
  
Vincent: I wouldn't have thought my own daughter would be a lesbian. For shame Heather.  
  
Heather: I'm not lesbian, and those aren't mine. And you aren't my FATHER!!!!!  
  
Vincent: Come sit, Heather. We can talk about your day. And that bump on your head.  
  
Heather:(I know I shouldn't, but it wouldn't hurt would it) Fine.  
  
Heather sits in the middle of the room.  
  
Heather: So I was walking down this street, and this woman comes and crashes on her motorcycle, and she comes and hit me in the head with a pipe.  
  
Vincent: It sounds like your are sexually active.  
  
Heather: What the hell does that have to do with anything!?  
  
Vincent: Nothing Heather, nothing.  
  
Douglas: I wanted to bring the issue up about your "look," Heather  
  
Heather: What about my "look?"  
  
Vincent: Well Heather, you look like a dirty crack whore with lesbian tendencies.  
  
Heather: I'M NOT LESBIAN!!!! And I look fine.  
  
Vincent: How do you know, you don't look into mirrors.  
  
Heather: Uhhhh..  
  
Douglas: And besides we get mail all the time, about your looks.  
  
Heather: Mail, what mail?  
  
Vincent: Here is one.   
  
Dear Heather,  
  
You would look a hell of a lot better, if you took a bath.   
  
sincerely- Stanley  
  
Heather: Well I'll admit, I may stink, but why do people care all that much.  
  
Vincent: Because, Heather, main female characters are supposed to look hot.   
  
Heather: Main character?  
  
Douglas: You could also be a little bit more perky in the chest area.  
  
Heather:(holds her breast) Hey!!! Leave them out of this. They look fine.  
  
Vincent: If you want to be cool with the fans, then you must be clean and perky.  
  
Heather: Well I could stand to take a bath. But this is all a little embarrassing.  
  
Douglas: Well we didn't want to say anything, but the way you where going, you were just going to get worse.  
  
Heather: I guess I will go take a bath, then.  
  
Heather gets up, and goes to her room, while Vincent and Douglas chat. Heather takes her boots off. And immediately is turned off by her own smell. She takes her jacket vest off, and then the rest of her cloths. She puts a towel on, and goes to her bathroom. She turns the water on. And the world around her turns into the hell world, she is so familiar with. She sighs, and hits the wall with her hand a couple of times, and like a flickering light, the hell world turns back to regular.  
  
She takes her towel off. The "view," pans down her back slowly, we see a "insert here" tattoo, with a arrow pointing down, on her lower back.. And then we get a good shot of her ass(for all those Heather fans out there). She gets into the bath tub. And begins soaping herself down. Half an hour later, she gets out, gets dry. And puts a bandage over her bump. Now she is wearing a white t-shirt that reveals her belly button. It say "Ambulance." She wears flannel sweat sleeping pants. And some white socks. (I'm sure you Heather fans, love description). Her hair doesn't look dirty anymore. She doesn't have the dirty look, anymore. And the redness around her eyes are gone. She brushed her teeth too.   
  
Heather(narrator): Even though it is weird that they are in my home, I'm kind of glad. I was lonely here by myself. After all nothing interesting happens here.  
  
Heather: I feel a lot better. I'm sure they will be pleased with my new look.  
  
Heather walks into the living room again, only to see Vincent, Douglas, and the woman from before chatting it up.  
  
Heather: What the hell are you doing here!!!!(pointing at the woman)  
  
Vincent: Screaming again, Heather? You know it's rude, we have a guest.  
  
Heather:(rubs her head) Ummm sorry, but what are you doing here, and why did you hit me in the head  
  
Douglas: She has a name you know. It's, Maria.  
  
Maria: Hey Heather, it looks like you have cleaned yourself up.  
  
Heather: Why are you not answering my question.  
  
Heather notices that Vincent has a bandage on his head too.  
  
Heather: What happen to you.  
  
Vincent: Well I was going for a walk, and Maria, ran me over with her motorcycle. Bringing her back with me, was the least I could do after being so rude.  
  
Heather: That doesn't make any since.  
  
Douglas: Neither does your lack of brain Heather.  
  
Heather: What was that!?  
  
Vincent: come and sit, and we can talk.  
  
Heather comes over and sits on the ground.   
  
Maria: How was your day Heather.  
  
Heather: would you stop acting like you didn't do something! Tell me why you hit my head.  
  
Maria: Cause you are sexually active.  
  
Heather: What does that have to do with it.  
  
Maria: You will see in do time.  
  
Heather: Your starting to make me mad.  
  
Vincent: Stop being rude Heather.  
  
Heather: Would you stop acting like my father.  
  
Douglas: Hey, Heather why wont you go to your room, and let us adults chats.  
  
Heather: That's fine, I don't want to talk to you guys anyways.  
  
Heather gets up and goes to her room, she takes one of her dolls off her dresser, and flops down on her bed  
  
Heather: I don't know what the hell is up with all of this, but it's nice to be around other people, even if it doesn't make since. (holds her head) OUCH!!!! my head. It hurts so much. Damn Maria! It's hurting a little too much.  
  
Heather sits up on her bed, holding her head.   
  
Heather: Something isn't right here.  
  
Heather bandage begins to bulge, and blood begins to stain it.   
  
Heather: AHHHHHH!!!!!!! (tries to hold head) AHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
The bulge grows, and the bandage comes off. Blood spews everywhere. A bloody gloved hand comes out. And then a arm, then another arm. A head comes out, and begins to shake and spas out. There is no face on this beast. It begins pulling itself out. Soon a giant hand is seen grabbing the being coming out of Heather head. The being comes out, and the hand is revealed to be apart of a giant arm torn off of some kind of beast. Heather falls back onto her bed.  
  
Remarkably with no wound, nor blood on her head. The being with no face, begins to fight the hand. He grabs the bloody veins coming out the end of the arm, and swings the hand into the ceiling, and bangs it back down onto the ground. He then jumps into the air and punches into the middle of the hand. Blood spews everywhere. He begins to tear it apart. Just then, Maria, with her pipe comes in and jumps into the air. She smashes the faceless being in the back of the head with the pipe, knocking it out. Soon we see Heather waking up in her room, with an ice pack on her head.   
  
Heather:(takes ice pack off) What happen, why is there blood every where?  
  
Heather gets up and walks into the living room. She see Maria, Vincent, and Douglas, sitting and chatting. She then sees the faceless being with a apron on. He has two trays, with three glasses, two on one, and one on the other. He sits them down, and returns to the kitchen.  
  
Heather: What the Hell is that!!!!!???  
  
Vincent: Heather, yelling again?  
  
Heather: Oh sorry, who is that?  
  
Maria: That thing came out of your head. He saved you. His name is Valtiel.  
  
Heather: Valtiel? That's a weird name. Why is he doing that.  
  
Douglas: He likes to serve us.  
  
Maria: Now we know your head works.  
  
Heather:(rubs head) Uh yeah, head.  
  
Valtiel craws on the wall toward heather, and gives her a glass of water.  
  
  
  
Heather:(puts on fake smile) Thanks.  
  
She walks back into her bloody room.  
  
Heather:(narrator) That strange Maria. Things coming out of my head? Vincent, Douglas. Weird, but not all that interesting. The town of Silent Hill isn't all that interesting. (She sits on her bed back with her doll, and turns on the television.) At least I'm not lonely anymore.   
  
Heather slowly drifts off. Thus begins the series, "The Silent Hill Spoof." 


	2. Brittle Bullet

The Quit Town, Silent Hill.  
  
Brittle Bullet.  
  
The scene opens to Heather looking at the sky, smoking a cigarette. She doesn't notice the man standing right behind her.  
  
Man: Smoking cigarettes? *sniffs* Those are the strong kind. What are you doing destroying your health like that.  
  
Heather:(surprised, but doesn't turn around) Cigarettes help me relax, and think. Besides, my dad is dead. I don't have to keep them a secret anymore.  
  
Man: Maybe you haven't search hard enough. Maybe he is just around that corner. But you don't want to take that step.  
  
Heather: What?  
  
We are the shown a ceiling view of Heather's bed, while she awakes from her strange dream.  
  
Heather:(rubbing her eyes) What did he mean? (slowly begins to notice the smell) And what is that smell!!??  
  
As Heather regains her vision, after rubbing her eyes, she notices dead bodies hanging everywhere. The room still covered in blood. And she see Valtiel in the corner hanging yet another body.  
  
Heather: What the hell do you think you are doing!!!??   
  
Heather doesn't get out of bed, for there is a body hanging right next to her, and she doesn't want to touch it. She then sees here bathroom door open. Revealing Maria in a towel. It looks like she just bathed.  
  
Maria: Shouting again? What seems to be the matter?  
  
Heather: There is a number of things the matter, you crazy psycho bi....!!!!!  
  
Maria: Heather, it isn't polite to curse at someone older and prettier than you.  
  
Heather: Would you shut up, and let me speak!!!! For one thing, what the hell is he doing hanging bodies in my room!!!??  
  
Maria: Well, Heather your room is so boring. Valtiel thought it needed some spicing up. And besides, I think it looks nice.  
  
Heather: Excuse me, nice?! I rather not have corpses hanging two feet away from me, while I sleep! And another thing, why are you using my bathroom!?   
  
Maria: I couldn't shower in your father's bathroom, he's a pervert.  
  
Heather: He isn't my father.  
  
Maria: And besides, not every blonde can get away with looking dirty.  
  
Heather: I hope that was a Christina Aguilera joke, cause other wise....  
  
Maria: Do you know where Douglas is? I need him for a special PI case.  
  
Heather: I haven't seen him since last night.   
  
Maria: Oh, what a shame.  
  
Maria walks out of Heather's room. Valtiel still doing his job.   
  
Heather: Hey! Val. Take all this crap down! I don't need your kind of decorations.  
  
Valtiel looks at Heather, shakes his head a little, and begins taking the body he just strung up, down. Heather then gets out of bed and goes to her bathroom. She finds that everything has been put out of place, and Maria pipe sitting by the toilet.  
  
Heather: Maria's pipe. I know I shouldn't, but ....  
  
Heather picks up the pipe.  
  
Heather: Whoever said progress is a slow process didn't know me, cause I'm a PIMP, and plus I got the magic stick.   
  
Heather waves the pipe in the air. Laughing about what she just said. Maria comes barging in, and jerks the pipe out of her hand.  
  
Maria: Don't touch the pipe!!  
  
Heather: Oh, ummm.. sorry.   
  
Maria walks out of Heather's room again, with her pipe. Valtiel still taking down bodies.  
  
Heather: What's the deal with that pipe anyways?  
  
Heather gets change into a navy blue shirt that says Killa Bunnies, in white letters. She puts on a navy blue skirt, similar to her old skirt. She puts on her boots, and walks out into the living room. She sees Valtiel busting his ass in the kitchen. Maria and Vincent talking, and what looks like a dead cat by the back door.  
  
Heather: Isn't Val in my room? (doesn't pay any mind to it) So "dad" what's for breakfast?  
  
Vincent: Maria's special eggs. Old Val is making it right now.  
  
Heather: Where's Douglas?  
  
Vincent: Grandpa? Oh, well he said he needed to get something checked at the hospital.  
  
Heather: You mean Brookhaven Hospital?   
  
Vincent: Uhh.. yeah.  
  
Heather:(everyone knows no one is even in that hospital, maybe Douglas is drunk)  
  
Maria: So, Heather, what kind of wet dream did you have this morning?  
  
Heather: I didn't have a wet dream!  
  
Vincent: I sure hope you are telling the truth, I can't afford more panties. You might need to start wearing Maria's. Of course if that is fine with you, Maria.  
  
Maria: Of course it is. I don't mind at all.  
  
Heather: I didn't have a wet dream!!!! And I don't need to wear anyone else's underwear!!!!  
  
Vincent: *Ahem* panties.  
  
Heather: Whatever!! I going for a walk.   
  
Heather takes her keys, her flash light, and her stun gun, and walks out the door. She begins to walk toward Toluca Lake.   
  
Heather:(narrator) I still don't know who this Maria is. I don't know why Douglas and Vincent are here. Especially, since Vincent is dead, and Douglas and I split ways. Why are they here. Did God want me not to be lonely anymore? If so, why these people. I certainly don't mind. When you live in Silent Hill, you don't see much. And when you see another person, you get happy.  
  
As Heather walks down the street. Maria catches up with her.   
  
Maria: Hey!!! Heather wait!!! I want to walk with you!!!  
  
Heather turns around, and sighs.   
  
Heather: Fine.  
  
Heather doesn't know that Vincent was following Maria in the fog. She can't see him. But he can see them.  
  
Maria: Heather, have you ever shared a kiss with another woman?  
  
Heather: Uhh... no. Why would I?  
  
Maria doesn't respond. Instead, she take hold of Heather face. Cheek to cheek with her hands. She then presses her lips against Heather's. Heather tries to struggle off, and successfully does.  
  
Heather: What the Hell is the matter with you!? I don't get into that kind of stuff!!!!  
  
Maria: Wow my first kiss.  
  
Heather: Oh, don't lie!!!  
  
Vincent stands there with mouth open. For he has a secret crush on Maria. Vincent is jealous.  
  
Vincent: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Heather and turns around to see Vincent standing there.  
  
Vincent: HEATHER!!!! *tries to keep calm* You where making out, and doing other perverted things in front of your father, this is unforgivable!  
  
Heather: Hey!!! She kissed me, and I try to stop her. And you aren't my FA.......  
  
Before Heather can finish, Vincent pulled a pistol from his pocket and shot Heather in the head. Heather falls on her ass. Remarkably no blood comes out.   
  
Heather: OUCH!!!!! You dick, you shot me!!!!!!  
  
Vincent raises his gun(barrel pointing into the air) in front of his face.   
  
Vincent: We shall duel for Maria's love!  
  
Heather: What love!? I don't love he....  
  
Maria: A duel? I'm up for a gun battle.  
  
Heather: But I'm not in Lo....  
  
The scene cuts to Heather's apartment. Everyone is getting ready for the "gun battle." Heather does her hair back into what resembles a samurai style. She puts on her white vest jacket. And slaps on some goggles. She then ties some bandages around her hands, apparently for the cool factor. She then takes out dual Uzis, with her ammo ready   
  
Heather: Lock in load!!! (for some reason, I'm getting into character)  
  
Maria wears what she usually does, and just holds her pipe. Vincent dresses up in a suit that resemble what a Nazi officer of WW II would wear. He even has the hat, and the Nazi symbol band on his arm. He takes out his WW II German pistol, with his ammo ready.   
  
Vincent: (sticks his arm out in Nazi fashion) I shall win the love of the beautiful Maria.  
  
They both come into the middle of the room.  
  
Vincent: We are going to pick teams, based on a captain selection. I'm first captain, Heather you are second. Since I am first I will make the first choice. And I pick Valtiel!  
  
Heather: What! No fair!!! I don't want to be stuck with her. Damn you Douglas, where are you!?  
  
  
  
Valtiel stops what he is doing. He goes into another room. A few seconds later, he pops out. He wears goggles. A blue blood stained windbreaker jacket, that says "Child Abuse", on the back. And he carries a long machine gun. Maria doesn't do anything, just stands there with her pipe.  
  
Heather: This is a bit unfair.  
  
Vincent: Life isn't fair Heather, life isn't fair!!! Now off to the battle field!!!!  
  
The battle field was Toluca Prison. A scary place, perfect for hide and go seek and other fun games. This is where the battle would take place.  
  
Heather crouch back against the wall and looked around the corner, down to the prison cells. Maria behind her, just laid there.   
  
Heather: You could be more help!!  
  
Maria: *holds up pipe* Pipes don't shoot out projectiles.  
  
Heather: *sighs* That is why you where supposed to pick a gun.  
  
Heather:(narrator) Even though I was competing for something I didn't want, I felt like I should win this. I wanted to be strong, and pump them full of lead.  
  
Heather: I'm going down to the cells, cover me.  
  
Maria: (Maria is asleep)  
  
Heather doesn't realize Maria was sleeping, and goes dashing into the hall. Just then another hallway that intersected the hallway Heather was running in, was hiding Valtiel just around the corner.  
  
Heather: I'm almost there.  
  
Heather passes the intersect, and Valtiel begins chasing her down, and raining her with bullets. Vincent follows Valtiel, every once in awhile firing his pistol. Also he starts cussing out Heather.  
  
Heather: OUCH!!! OUCH!!! OUCH!!!!  
  
Heather is hit a lot of times, she ducks into a prison cell, and begins to return fire. Both Valtiel and Vincent roll opposite direction into cells in the same hallway, to take cover.  
  
Heather: *reloads* Damn Maria!!! Ouch, these hurt!!!  
  
Heather starts to hear noises of loud breathing behind her. She gets a chilling feeling up her back.  
  
Heather: Oh crap.  
  
Heather doesn't want to look in fear of what she may see. But she turns anyways. She sees two closer monsters doing the nasty to a nurse. The nurse is on the bed stripped of clothes, while the two have their way with her.  
  
Heather: EW EW EW EW!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Heather runs out of the cell screaming. Valtiel and Vincent see her, and start firing. Heather is brittled with bullets. She falls down to the ground.  
  
Vincent: YES!!!! We win!!!!! (Gives Valtiel a five)  
  
Maria comes walking up to Heather. And kinda kicks her in the stomach.  
  
Maria: What happen to you kid?  
  
Heather:(in some pain) Something in which I will never talk about .  
  
Vincent: It looks like I will be love making tonight.  
  
Maria: Don't forget, Valtiel is half winner, so he gets some too.  
  
Vincent:(looks a Maria with a disgusted look) I don't know what is worse, the fact that I have to share my love with you, or that fact you want to have sex with some blood stained zombie.  
  
Valtiel picks up Heather, and they all start heading toward their apartment. Douglas's face is shown from the inside of Brookhaven looking out the window. He watches as they walk in the street. The camera starts to zoom out revealing Douglas strapped to a chair. The camera pans to the floor, while still looking up at Douglas in the chair. A giant knife hits the floor. And a bloody boot is seen next to it.  
  
Heather:(narrator) Those these people act weird around me, I still find their company nice. I do miss my father. But soon I will be over that, and on to better things. 


	3. The PH Complex

The Quit Town, Silent Hill  
  
The PH Complex  
  
The scene opens with Heather sitting on her bed, taking her boots off. Maria is seen next to her with one of the Uzis in her hand.   
  
Heather:(narrator) I sit her and relax, not trying to find out the meaning of me being here, them being here. I just enjoy it. Even if I have to go through a little pain.  
  
Maria: Inner-dialogue again?  
  
Heather: Your weird. Why do you act weird.  
  
Maria doesn't respond. Without turning around, Maria raises the Uzi at Heather's head. Heather not noticing, cause she is looking down at the ground. Maria fires the Uzi. Heather holds the back of her head.  
  
Heather: What the Hell is wrong with you!!?? Those bullets hurt!!!! I'm getting.......  
  
Maria: You know, Douglas hasn't return from his "check-up."  
  
Heather:(still holding her head) And I suppose you actually care!? Why do you need him?  
  
Maria: PI case.  
  
Heather: I guess your right, he has been gone for a while. I mean it's night time now.  
  
Maria: Yeah, and that's when all the big "monsters" come out.  
  
Heather: Uhhhh......what?  
  
Maria: He is probably in trouble. And it's your chance to be a hero.  
  
Heather: Heroine.  
  
Maria: Never touched the stuff.  
  
Heather: Not funny.  
  
Maria smiles and starts to leave.  
  
Maria: Douglas is counting on you, meet me at the Hospital when you are ready.(shuts the door)  
  
Heather:(Is Douglas in trouble, how would she know?) I really feel like I need to read my dad's journal again.  
  
Heather goes to her dresser, and opens up the top drawer. She digs through her socks, and knifes. She finds the journal. She opens it and begins to read it.  
  
Dear Heather,  
  
I sit here and relax in my chair. It's a nice chair. I like the color green. But not that dark green stuff, just the light green. I suppose I should have got one the reclines, but what can I do, when I don't have a job. Heather I know you are probably pissed about me dieing. Well if I'm dead, I'm not sure. I don't remember if I gave you this before or after. But that isn't the point, the point is your origins. In case you don't know what origins mean (you where never too bright) it means, where you are from. You where born in the town of Silent Hill. Don't blame me, if it were up to me, I would have had you born in ........well It was some city name after some rodent. Can't remember right this second. You are really a incarinalelnation(sorry I can't spell it right, wasn't too good of a speller, even if I do write books) of a young girl with powers. You where born from her. I took you under my care. At times I wanted to slaughter your baby butt, cause I hated what you where from. But then I remember the girl I lost. You where just like her. Except she was a genius, I guess it skips a generation. I just wanted you to know this. And I wasn't killed by that monster on the roof. I was playing with a pogo-stick and I fell down the stair, and I was impaled by it. Yeah I know, it was a dumb way to die. But hey, we have to die at some point, might as well die having fun. I did get four jumps, never done that before. I love you Heather. And right now you are realizing this journal entry has changed from the last time. Who knows, I may have written it from the dead.   
  
Sincerely, Your daddy, Harry Mason.  
  
Heather: I just noticed something. This journal entry is just a little different then it was before.   
  
Heather puts the journal back where she had gotten it. She gets a new shirt. It is red, and it black letters it says, "I see your lips moving, but all I hear is, Bad Voice Acting." She then puts her boots on, and goes out into the living room, to see Valtiel arm wrestling Vincent.  
  
Heather: Vincent, Maria said she was going to the Hospital, right?  
  
Vincent:(loses match) AH!!!! Damn it!!! Uhhh.......yeah Maria said something like that.   
  
Heather: Okay, thanks. Valtiel, I want you to come along.  
  
Valtiel shakes his head a little, and begins to follow Heather outside the door. They both begin to walk toward the hospital.  
  
Heather: So ummmm.......you like to kill things?  
  
Valtiel: Yeah I do.  
  
Heather: Did you just talk!?  
  
Valtiel doesn't say anything, just shakes his head, as usual.  
  
Heather: I must have been hearing things. Did Maria tell you anything?  
  
Valtiel doesn't say anything. Just keeps walking.  
  
Heather: I guess I'll shut up.   
  
Heather and Valtiel make it to the hospital doors.   
  
Heather: What does this sign say?  
  
Welcome to Brookhaven Hospital, where you can die for little to no cost.  
  
Heather: Must be running under some new health plan.  
  
Heather and Valtiel enter, and immediately see Maria standing there holding her pipe.  
  
Maria: Took you long enough. I'm glad you brought him along.  
  
Heather: Yeah, even though he is a walking mangled piece of flesh, I find him to be the only "normal," one around here.  
  
Maria: I hope you are ready.  
  
Heather: If it's fighting monsters, then yes I am ready.   
  
Maria: You will probably be surprised when you see you can't do it alone.  
  
Heather: Accuse me, but I killed a God! and I'm not talking about your everyday holy Christian God. I'm talking about a god that would eat you alive, and spit you out, only to stomp on you, to make you tender, and eat you again.   
  
Maria: Yeah, I'm sure a god with breast was REAL hard.  
  
Heather: Shut up.  
  
Maria: I'm not sure where he is. But we got to split up, and look around. I will take the basement. Valtiel, you take the 2nd floor, Heather you the 3rd.  
  
Heather: Sir, yes Sir! (laughs)  
  
Maria bangs her over the head with the pipe.  
  
Heather: OUCH!!! Fine I will get going.  
  
The gang split ways. And Heather manages to get the third floor.  
  
Heather: I hate hospitals. I hate nurses, I hate fried okras. I just want to find Douglas and get the hell out of here.   
  
Heather finds a journal on a table. She picks it up and reads it.  
  
Hey Heather. You have gotten close to me. You really want to see me that bad? I hope you are wearing that perfume I left behind last time. I think you ought to know, dog piss is a good ingredient for a nice smelling perfume.  
  
Heather: Crap, and I wear that stuff everyday.  
  
You do love me. I'm kinda a jerk sometimes. WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU!!!!!!!  
  
Heather gets scared and ducks and breaks the table in the process.  
  
  
  
HAHA!!! Fell for it, didn't you? Well I have to let you go. I will see you soon my love.  
  
Your love, J. S.   
  
Heather gets up of the wreckage of the table.   
  
Heather: Stupid bastard.   
  
Heather continues walking down the hallway. Looking down every which way. Opening doors that she can open. But not finding nothing. Finally she gets to one last door  
  
Heather: Well seeing as this is all about me, and this is the last door of my hallway, I'm pretty sure this is where Douglas is.  
  
Heather opens the door, and sees a fainted Douglas strapped to a chair. She runs over to him, and slaps him. He wakes up.  
  
Douglas: Thank heavens you fou........  
  
Heather: Where the hell were you today, I lost a gun battle because of you!!!!  
  
Douglas: Uh, yeah. Long story short. Some one wanted to meet me here for some case. I came, was knocked out, and woke up in this chair.  
  
Heather: Or really, you where drunk, you wander to the hospital. You got involved with some female, and you where knocked out. Your money was stolen, and you where strapped to a chair.  
  
Douglas: That's about the gist of it.  
  
Heather: Typical old pervert.  
  
Douglas: But I did see something, he was in here. But now he is gone. I remember him having a huge knife, and a some rusted pyramid shaped helmet.  
  
Heather: Sounds lame to me.  
  
Douglas: I thought so myself, but I wasn't going to tell him that.  
  
Heather un-straps Douglas, and they both walk out of the room.  
  
Heather: Maria, and Valtiel, are down stairs. We just need to take the stair case, and we should be out of here, with not problems.  
  
Douglas, and Heather make it to the stair case door, and Douglas is about to open it. But a Knife comes through the door, and impales Douglas's stomach. He falls to the floor, and Heather goes to him. The knife is pulled back through the door.  
  
Heather: Douglas!!!!!! Are you okay!?   
  
Douglas: How do you manage to *coughs up blood* ask the stupidest questions? *cough* This is ironic, isn't Heather. Most likely your next line would have been *cough* "I will go get an Ambulance!" But I'm already in a hospital*cough*  
  
Heather: Don't die on me God Damn it!!!  
  
Douglas: Don't worry Heather, no one is going to go cry over my grave. And Besides, this is Silent Hill, I'll probably be back in an hour or so*cough*. (eyes roll back, and dies)  
  
Heather: NOOOOO!!!!!!!   
  
Heather gets up, as the door starts to open. It reveals a knife wielding pyramid headed monster. He starts to walk toward her.  
  
Heather: Why did you kill him!? Answer me!!  
  
It keeps walking toward Heather. It starts to lift is giant knife, for a over head death blow. But just as he tries to do it, Maria jumps in and bangs Pyramid head in the head with the pipe. It makes a loud clunk noise. He is knocked back a little bit, but un-phased.   
  
Maria: Find Valtiel, you will need him!  
  
Heather: Right!!! (Heather run past the two, down the stairs. We are able to hear the two fighting pipe to giant knife)  
  
Heather:(I let Douglas die. I can't believe I let another one die)   
  
Heather keeps back the tears. And runs down to the second floor. She runs around calling his name not finding him. Until she gets to the end of the hall. She sees Valtiel beating the crap out of a nurse, and trying to fit it's body into a little hole in the wall. There is blood everywhere.  
  
Heather: Uhhh....Val?  
  
He isn't paying attention, and keeps on what he is doing.  
  
Heather: VAL!!!!!  
  
He turns around, and hides the body behind his back, pretending like he wasn't doing anything.  
  
Heather: Val, you can do your sick hobbies later, I need your help!  
  
Valtiel shakes his head, and throws the body down, and begins running with Heather toward the stair case door. Just as they get there. Maria come falling through the door, badly wounded, but not dead.  
  
Maria: That son of a bitch is too much for me.  
  
Heather: Where is he!  
  
Maria: I'm not sure.  
  
Heather tries to help Maria up. While Valtiel just stands there watching. Suddenly the apart of the ceiling comes down behind Valtiel. Before Valtiel can turn around, he is knocked out of the way by Pyramid Head. He goes flying down the hall. He hits a vending machine.   
  
Heather: Oh Crap!!!!  
  
Pyramid Head once again tries his Death blow, but Valtiel is on him. He tries to take Pyramid Head down. But he knocks him off his back, and grabs him by the face, and smashes the back of his head into the wall near by. He does it over and over again. He then takes him off the wall, and slashes him. He again goes flying down the hall. Pyramid Head then goes down the hall, and tries to stab him, but Valtiel moves out of the way. His knife gets stuck in the wall, and Valtiel gets some punches in kicks into his side. Valtiel then runs down to Maria and Heather, while Pyramid Head, tries to get his knife unstuck.  
  
Maria, gets up and hits Valtiel in the head.  
  
Maria: You know what to do!  
  
Valtiel shakes his head. He begins to shake all over, and something starts to bulge from his stomach. It is a dark blood color. He bulges out more, and all of a sudden it reveals it mouth. It has sharp teeth. The mouth looks a lot like the worm's mouth, that Heather fought before. He start growling. It's just sticking of Valtiel's stomach.  
  
Maria: You must go Heather. You need to get in there, and become apart of him. It's the only way you can defeat him.  
  
Heather: Are you insane!? I'm not getting into that thing!  
  
Maria gets up.  
  
Maria: I'm not asking, I am telling you!!!! (Maria takes her pipe, and smashes Heather's forehead)  
  
Heather goes spinning in mid-air, and goes right into the mouth. The mouth starts chomping on Heather, and she gets swallowed. the mouth retreats back into Valtiel. And his stomach is looking normal. He starts to shake all over again. A whole lot this time. He starts to glow read. And everything around him turns into the alt. world. He start stops shaking and turns to Maria.  
  
Maria: You have done it Heather!!!! Wait, watch out!!!!!  
  
During Valtiel's transformation, Pyramid Head manage to get his knife out. He runs down the hall way, and tries to vertically slash at Valtiel, from behind. But Valtiel already knew. He simply puts his hand out, and grabs the blade. It shows Valtiel holding the blade, while looking down at Maria. Glowing red, and pulsating . Pyramid Head seems to struggle trying to get his knife back.  
  
Then Valtiel in one smooth motion, Lets go of the blade, he jumps a little ways into the air. He spins twice and then round house kicks Pyramid head in the head. He goes flying down the hallway. Hitting the wall really hard. Before Pyramid head could even recover. Valtiel is already on his ass. He start rapidly punching pyramid head's helmet. It's starts to crack. Maria then throws her pipe to Valtiel. And Valtiel start pounding away at his helmet. It is dented and cracked. Valtiel then grabs pyramid head's throat, and then the top of the helmet. He begins trying to rip his head off, and does. Blood goes every where. Valtiel holds the helmet, and lets go of the body. He then throws the head to Maria, whom catches it.  
  
Maria: Thanks Val. Just what I came here for.  
  
Valtiel then starts holding his stomach. Like he has to go to the bathroom bad.  
  
Maria:(points down the hall) Bathrooms that way, chief.  
  
Valtiel goes running down the hall to the bathroom. A few minutes later, we see Valtiel walking out, looking normal. No more red glowing, no more pulsating. He returns to the hallway, where he left the nurse's body. Maria walks into the bath room. She sniffs around. And looks at the stall that is halfway open. She opens it.  
  
Maria: I thought I smelled something rotten.  
  
We see Heather with her ass stuck in the toilet, with her legs sticking up in the air, she can't get out. She seems to be really dirty right now.  
  
Heather: This isn't funny!!! It's one thing to be eaten, but it's another thing to become....  
  
Maria: A piece of shit?  
  
Heather: When I get out of here, I'm going to kick your ass. You do know that, right?  
  
The scene cuts to Heather drying her hair after taking a bath. She seems a little depressed  
  
Heather:(narrator) I let someone else die. I can't believe I let another one die. Well I might have not been able to stop my father's death, but I know if I was the one opening the door. Douglas wouldn't have died. It's all my fault. But, I got my revenge in the end.  
  
We see Pyramid Head's Helmet in the corner of her room. Maria walks in.  
  
Maria: You did good today kid, you did real good.  
  
Heather: Yeah I guess. Do you think Douglas will come back?  
  
Maria: I'm not sure. But being one who has had plenty of deaths in the past, I'm sure he may.  
  
Heather: That's good. Where Valtiel?  
  
Maria: He seems to be playing with a nurse's body on the roof.   
  
Heather:(laughs) What a sick son of a bitch.  
  
The scene cuts to the hospital, in the hallway where the fight took place. We see a puddle of blood where PH was. But no more. We see bloody foot prints and knife markings on the ground leading down the hallway.  
  
Stay tuned for more!!!! 


	4. The Quit Town, Silent Hill REMIX

Well I figured since I'm taking soo long coming up with new chapters, I would do something different. This is the first chapter again. But it's been translated to Spanish, then back to English, which makes for a very interesting read. Now I suggest if you haven't read the first chapter in a long time, or just haven't read it at all, read it. So that way you know what is going on. Because this is truly  
  
confusing.  
  
La Colina silenciosa 3: The Quit Town, Silent Hill(REMIX)   
  
The Silent Hill 3 Chapter of Parody 1: The Leaves the Town, the Silent Hill.   
  
The denial: All characters in this story are own by Konami, me not.   
  
We are open to a shot of the Silent Hill. We see to walk of down the Brezo a misty street al complex Blue of the Apartment of the Stream. She carries the same old, same old one. She has her quick light in.   
  
The brezo (narrator) : to interest you're welcome happens in the Silent Hill. I returned here, I cause that this be where was born. And I wanted to come to a calm, boring the place. Some where I put myself'T has to worry about "the fantastic." to interest you're welcome happens in the Silent Hill. Until that woman came.   
  
Heather continues walking for the street. We see a light behind Brezo, that is followed by noises of a motor. Heather looks back to see what is. She is able'T sees, 's too much misty.   
  
The brezo: (he confused) what is that?   
  
A woman in a motorcycle handles for really rapidamente.   
  
The brezo (he confused still) : Well that he was unequal.   
  
Heather continues his walk by the street. And runs into with a shipwreck of a motorcycle. With a woman that lying down in the floor al side of it. Heather runs the woman.   
  
The brezo: Uhhh. ....Are you good?   
  
The doesn of the woman'the answer T. She seems he knocked down.   
  
The brezo: Uhhh. .. Stay there, I will call an ambulance.   
  
The woman: the Wait! Any ambulance needed (raises himself) This was barely a test  
  
The brezo: the Test?   
  
The woman: Yes, something as a test. I wanted that a more nearby look at the head.   
  
The brezo: the head?   
  
The woman: Yes seems al one I seek.   
  
The woman is dress in a red shirt with a black skirt. She carries black boots, and she has cut in brief blond hair.   
  
The brezo: (he confused, one more time) You where seeking the head?   
  
The woman: You are able to say that.   
  
The woman goes to her bicycle destroyed, and removes a pipe mohoso long.   
  
The brezo: What plans to do you with that?   
  
The woman: for sees if's the correct head, I should do this. ....   
  
The woman swings, and strikes Brezo the right in the front. Heather goes to rotate in the air, and in the land in her as. She is knocked down, with a little drools leaving of the mouth.   
  
The woman: Hmmmm, that worked? The brezo awakes suddenly, having the head.   
  
The brezo: (meó) OH! !!!! Why the Hell did it struck me! !!!!????   
  
The woman: you Are well? I should call I an ambulance?   
  
The brezo: What? Mocks you of me!? I put myself'T needs an ambulance, I'M going home barely!   
  
Heather raises himself, dazed, and the beginnings that walk the past the woman, until the woman be dispelled in the fog.   
  
The brezo: Curses woman, what the hell is wrong with her?   
  
Heather walks in the complex of apartment, and by the vestibule. She for in a door, and opens it with a key. Strangely sufficient the apartment looks almost the same one that its old one one. She walks in her room of receipt. And it sees, that more but Douglas, and Vincent that sits down there.   
  
The brezo: What the hell is you types that do here!   
  
Vincent: (with a smile in its face) Now, now Alessia, that's that not way to speak its father.   
  
The brezo: (confused, but again) what!? Their not my father, and my name are Brezos!   
  
Douglas: Sits down Brezo, you need relajarse, and to permit abuelito that old says it a story.   
  
The brezo: Its not my Abuelito!   
  
Vincent: why do you shout? (They raise eyeglasses) All know, that to shout is gross.   
  
Douglas: Yes Brezo, you know that.   
  
The brezo: What is you types that speak about, and about you did still'T answers my first question.   
  
Vincent: Its is Brezo foolish, we have always lived here.   
  
The brezo: Uhhh. ..What?   
  
Douglas: You know those magazines in its room? Well, if you is put'T has incoveniente in saying, you have the good flavor.   
  
Vincent: fact'T has thought my own daughter would be a lesbian. For the Brezo of the shame.   
  
The brezo: I'M not lesbian, and those they till'the mine T. And you they till'T my FATHER! !!!!   
  
Vincent: Comes sits down, the Brezo. We can speak about its day. And that collision in the head.   
  
The brezo: (I know that proper'T, but fact'the injured one T does it) Fine.   
  
Heather sits down in the center of the room.   
  
The brezo: So this street walked downward, and this woman come and collide in his motorcycle, and she comes and he struck me in the head with a pipe.   
  
Vincent: sounds as his are sexually active.   
  
The brezo: What the hell that has to do with something!? Vincent: Brezo you're welcome, nothing.   
  
Douglas: I wanted to bring the up the matter about its "the look," Brezo  
  
The brezo: how my "the look?"  
  
Vincent: Well Brezo, you seems a dirty prostitute of the crack with tendencies lesbians.   
  
The brezo: I'M not LESBIAN! !! And I look at well.   
  
Vincent: How causes knows it, you is put'the look T in mirrors.   
  
The brezo: Uhhhh.   
  
Douglas: AND besides we obtain the mail all the time, about its looks.   
  
The brezo: the Mail, what mail?   
  
Vincent: here is one.   
  
It reckoned Brezo,  
  
You would look at a hell of a great deal better, if you took a bath. sincerely- Stanley  
  
The brezo: Well I'll admits, I can smell, but why does persons take care of all that so much.   
  
Vincent: Because, the Brezo, the main female characters are supposed to seem hot.   
  
The brezo: the Main character?   
  
Douglas: You would be able to be also a livelier small bit in the area of chest.   
  
The brezo: (has the breast) Hears! Leave them out of this. They look at well.   
  
Vincent: If you want to be fresh with the fans, then you should be clean and lively.   
  
The brezo: Well would be able to stop me to take a bath. But this it is all a to shame small.   
  
Douglas: Well we did'the need T to say something, but the way you where going, you has just to obtain worse.   
  
The brezo: I guess that I will go it takes a bath, then.   
  
Heather raises, and goes to its room, while Vincent and the chat of Douglas. Heather is removed its boots. And is rotated immediately far away by its own smell. She takes the vest of jacket far away, and then the remainder of her fabrics. She puts a towel in, and goes to her bathroom. She lights the water. And the world around her returns the world of the hell, she so is familiarized with. She sighs, and strikes the wall with the hand a pair of times, and as a parpadeando the light, the world of the hell returns to regular. She is removed her towel. The "the view," pans downward its back slowly, we see a "the addition here" the tatuaje, with an arrow that indicates downward, in her lower back. And then we obtain a good shot of her as (for all those fans of Brezo went there). She enters he have it of the bath. And begins soaping she same downward. The half an hour later, she leaves, obtains dry. And it puts a bandage on her collision. Now she carries a white undershirt that reveals her button of womb. "AMBULANCIA." says She carries the pants flannel sweat durmientes. And some white socks. (I'M sure you Brezo airs, the description of the love). Its doesn of the hair'the look T stains already. She doesn'T has the dirty look, already. And the rojez around its eyes goes. She brushed the teeth also.   
  
The brezo (narrator) : although is rare that they are in my home, I'the class M of happy. Was solitary here by i. In order to accounts to interest you're welcome happens here.   
  
The brezo: I feel a great deal better. I'M sure they will be pleased with my new aspect.   
  
Heather walks in the room of receipt again, only to see Vincent, Douglas, and the woman of before chatting it up.   
  
The brezo: What the hell is you doing here! !!!(pointing in the woman)  
  
Vincent: Screaming again, the Brezo? You knows it's gross, we have a guest.   
  
The brezo: (rubs the head) Ummm repented, but what are you doing here, and why did it struck me in the head  
  
Douglas: She has a name that you know. 'S, Maria.   
  
Maria: Hears Brezo, seems has been cleaned you up.   
  
The brezo: why is you not answering my question.   
  
Heather notifies that Vincent has a bandage in the head also.   
  
The brezo: What happens you.   
  
Vincent: Well strolled, and Maria, ran on with its motorcycle. To bring its back with me, was it except I would be able to do after I am so gross.   
  
The brezo: That doesn'T does any since.   
  
Douglas: Neither does its lack of Brezo of brain.   
  
The brezo: What was that!   
  
Vincent: comes and sits down, and we can speak.   
  
Heather comes on and sits down in the floor.   
  
Maria: How was its Brezo during the day.   
  
The brezo: does it for the action as you did'T does something! Tell me why did you strike the head.   
  
Maria: Cause that you be sexually active.   
  
The brezo: What does that do has to do with himself.   
  
Maria: You will see in time ago.   
  
The brezo: Its to begin to do me lunatic.   
  
Vincent: the Stop is Brezo gross.   
  
The brezo: Does it for the action as my father.   
  
Douglas: Hears, the Brezo why usual you go to its room, and permitted us chats of adults.   
  
The brezo: That'fine of s, I put myself'the need T to speak with you types of all ways.   
  
Heather raises and goes to her room, she takes one of her wrists of her tocador, and of the failures downward in her bed  
  
The brezo: I put myself'T knows what the hell is up with all this, but's pleasant to be around other persons, even if doesn'marks it T since. (Has the head) OH! !!! The head. It hurts so much. Maria damned! 'S that hurts a little too much.   
  
Heather is incorporated in its bed, having the head.   
  
The brezo: Something isn'T right here.   
  
The bandage of the brezo begins to excel, and the blood begins to stain it.   
  
The brezo: AHHHHHH! !!!!! (The tests to have head) AHHHHHHH! !!   
  
The protuberancia grows, and the loose bandage. The blood throws for all parts. A bloody hand of gloved leaves. And then an arm, then another arm. A head leaves, and begins to shake and the spas went. There is not the face in this beast. It begins it to throw went. Prompt a gigantic hand is seen grasping the is leaving of head of Brezo. The it is leaves, and the hand is revealed to be aside from a giant arms started of some class of beast. Heather goes back in its bed. Notably without injury, neither without the blood in the head. The is without the face, begins to fight the hand. The it be gone the bloody veins that leave the end of the arm, and swing the hand in the ceiling, and strikes is thrown it behind in the floor. The then it jumps in the air and punches in the center of the hand. The blood throws for all parts. The begins to break it aside. In that moment, Maria, with its pipe enters and jumps in the air. She crushes the without face is in the back of the head with the pipe, him striking he went. Prompt we see to awake of Brezo in his room, with a package of ice in the head.   
  
The brezo: (takes ice package far away) what happens, why do there is blood each where?   
  
Heather raises himself and the walks in the room of receipt. She sees Maria, Vincent, and Douglas, being sat down and to chat. She then sees that the without face is with an apron in. The has two trays, with three glasses, two in one, and in one in the other. The the sits down downward, and the returns to the kitchen.   
  
The brezo: What the Hell is that! !!!!???   
  
Vincent: Brezo, shouting again?   
  
The brezo: Oh repented, who is that?   
  
Maria: That thing left of the head. The it saved it. Its name is Valtiel.   
  
The brezo: Valtiel? That's a rare name. Why it is he doing that.   
  
Douglas: The wants to serve us.   
  
Maria: Now we know its work about head.   
  
The brezo: (rubs head) Ajá yes, the head.   
  
Craws of Valtiel in the wall toward brezo, and a glass of water gives it.   
  
The brezo: (puts in the smile of forgery) Thanks.   
  
She walks back in its bloody space.  
  
The brezo: (narrator) That Maria strange. The things that leave of the head? Vincent, Douglas. Rare, but not all that interesting. The town of isn Silent of Hill'T all that interesting. (She sits down in her back of bed with her wrist, and lights the television.) At least I'M not solitary already.   
  
The brezo is derived slowly. Thus it harms the series, "The Silent Parody of the Hill."  
  
Author's Commentary: Of course you all know that this spoof is heavly influenced by FLCL. I like that anime,I like the game, I thought it would be a very funny combination. The Brezo=Heather though, I don't know why some times it translates to Heather, and sometimes to Brezo. Hope you enjoy. I'll do the other chapters. 


End file.
